Fear of the unknown is the main reason that people resist change. Millions of people destroy their mental and physical health by worrying about things they can’t control, even when the majority of their fears never come true.

Our ability to succeed in a rapidly changing world depends on our capacity to take charge of our thought processes. Our attitude in the face of change is far more important than where we were born, who our parents are, where we went to school, or who we know.

This 3-step strategy will help you to overcome your fear of change:

1. Pay attention to your internal dialogue—all the thoughts rushing through your head. Write down every negative thought (all the things that could go wrong—all the reasons you can think of for not moving forward).
2. Now write down your worst-case scenario. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you move forward with your plan or decision? What if your worst-case scenario comes true? Would it be impossible to fix? Would it really be as bad as you think?
3. If you’re still convinced that the action or change you envision is a positive one (or if it’s something you have to do whether you want to or not), take the next step immediately. Even if your worst-case scenario comes true, it won’t be nearly as bad as you thought it would be.

Even good changes seem threatening before we take the first step. The next time you feel yourself resisting a change that your family and friends think would be good for you, ask yourself what’s holding you back. If it’s something you have to do whether you want to or not, ask yourself what you hope to gain by resisting the change.

With each step you take toward carrying out a necessary or a desired change, you’ll be in a better position to carry out the next change in your life. You’ve already proven to yourself that you can manage change successfully.

Even if your worst fears come true, they can’t stop you from accomplishing your goals if you maintain a positive attitude. If you fail today, there’s always tomorrow.

Share your story

Tell us about a time when you felt the fear and did it anyway. As a result of that experience, are you better prepared to manage change in your life today?

When we’re confronted with the need to change, we run for cover. The mere thought of stepping outside of our comfort zone triggers a rush of insecurity and fear that leaves our emotions somewhere on the scale between mild nervousness and total panic.

As a result, most people build their lives around a familiar routine. As far as possible, they eliminate from their daily life any activities or tasks that might challenge them to do something new.

This kind of lifestyle—one based on a desire for sameness—is comfortable in the beginning. But in the long run it diminishes our innate creativity and robs us of the opportunity to be happy.

If you’ve ever taken a chemistry class, you probably remember that a catalyst is a substance that speeds up a chemical reaction. A catalyst can also allow a reaction to take place in circumstances where a reaction would otherwise be impossible (as at extremely low temperatures).

Change is the catalyst that speeds up our personal development and helps us grow when circumstances are less than favorable. That’s why even bad changes can cause good things to happen.

Don’t miss the silver lining

The Mandarin Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of two separate characters: the sign for danger followed by the sign for opportunity. Think about it: Every crisis involves an element of danger. But the danger is always accompanied by opportunity—the opportunity to find a better way to do things, a better way to live, a better way to be.

That’s why our attitude in the face of change is more important than the change itself. In the end, the only thing that can keep me from achieving my goals is me—the part of me that wants to cling to a negative attitude about things I can’t control.

Without a crisis, most people are never inspired to try something new, never motivated to achieve their full potential, never challenged to push themselves beyond what they have accomplished so far.

As long as you keep yourself open to the opportunity to go on growing and changing, you’ll find the silver lining behind every cloud.

Food for thought

Post a comment to tell us about a time when something bad happened. Now tell us about two or three positive things that happened as a result. This isn’t easy to do at first, but stick with it. Soon you’ll begin to appreciate the benefits of change even when they aren’t immediately obvious.

‘Tis the season for making resolutions…that are fizzled out, filed away, and forgotten by the first week of February.

The things we want to change—bad habits such as smoking, overeating, or buying things we don’t need—are like icebergs. That’s why New Year’s resolutions fail: They only attack the part of the problem that lies above the surface.

We can’t just dump a bad habit as if it were a throwaway bottle or a worn-out appliance. To make a lasting change in any significant area of our life, we need to understand the complex pattern of behavior that the habit is rooted in—all the underlying thought processes and choices that feed and sustain a bad habit in spite of our best intentions.

Every New Year presents the opportunity to discover one of life’s simple truths: As long as our underlying priorities remain the same, our heartfelt resolutions are doomed to fail, no matter how noble, sincere, or urgent they sound.

The secret to a happier, healthier life

Joyful, abundant living has nothing to do with New Year’s resolutions. It’s a result of understanding

1. Why resistance to change keeps us from achieving our potential
2. How to overcome the fear of change
3. When to seek change, and why we should seek it

In our next three posts, we’ll take a closer look at these three key areas—together, they account for the 90% of the iceberg that’s below the surface.

In a nutshell, the secret to a happier, healthier life is to realize that you can choose to take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions. Accepting responsibility for who you are is the first step in overcoming harmful habits and replacing them with healthy ones.

Share your story

When you get serious about making change the No. 1 priority in your life, your bad habits don’t stand a chance. Post a comment to tell us about a change you want to make in 2010.

When life is turned upside down by the threat of a major disease or the loss of a loved one, we can feel terrified of the future. Imagine how Frodo Baggins felt the day he was forced to leave his cozy life in a village called the Shire.

Frodo, the hero of J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, had just been chosen for a mission that would determine the course of history—not the sort of after-school assignment he would have volunteered for.

Talk about a major life change: On the way to accomplishing his mission, Frodo is stabbed by a ghost, chased by all sorts of nasty, sword-wielding creatures, and almost eaten alive by a spider that’s as big as a bull. Forget about “adapting to a new normal”—Frodo is just trying to stay alive from one minute to the next.

When bad things happen

There’s an unforgettable scene in The Fellowship of the Ring, Peter Jackson’s film version of the first book in the Tolkien trilogy. Exhausted and afraid, Frodo is beginning to lose hope.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” Frodo says to Gandalf, his mentor and friend.

“So do I,” Gandalf replies—“and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

You probably don’t have carnivorous spiders stalking you. But I’m sure there are days when you feel as if you did. Like Frodo and his friends, you might be facing a life-threatening struggle. Like Frodo, you’re wondering why it had to happen.

We can’t control everything that happens in life. But we can learn to cope with change by letting go of the bad and holding on to the good.

Tell us your story

Tell us about how you coped with a major life change. Sharing your story is a vital part of the healing process.

For thousands of years, sages and prophets have believed that physical health is determined not only by what goes into our mouth, but by what comes out of it. Can people really think their way to better health?

A friend sneezes. “Probably a touch of the flu,” she says. The next day she’s in bed with a sore throat and a fever. “Caught something at work, I guess,” she explains.

Maybe she did catch something. But research suggests that she didn’t have to get sick. Scientists have known for decades that we’re exposed to cold and flu viruses all the time. But we aren’t sick all the time.

When your immune system is clicking on all gears, it takes more than a virus to put you in bed. There has to be a detonator that triggers the attack by inhibiting your natural defense response.

The most common detonator of illness is stress. That’s why worrying about a disease can trigger the very thing we fear. Some scientists believe that 90% of all diseases are psychosomatic: People literally make themselves sick.

Breaking the cycle of infirmity

For decades, we’ve been warned that egg yolks cause high blood pressure. But eggs are also one of the best sources of nutrients on earth: The much-maligned egg contains all the amino acids necessary to sustain human life.

Greek islanders eat eggs nearly every day. But they also eat a diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids (fresh fish) and low-density cholesterol (daily doses of olive oil). And they get lots of exercise.

On Greek islands, men and women in their sixties—and some in their seventies and eighties—climb rocky mountainsides to harvest olives. Apparently, eggs aren’t doing their arteries any damage. With mountains to climb and olives to harvest, they’re too busy and too active to worry about high blood pressure.

You can break the cycle of infirmity in your life by changing your lifestyle and mindset. Don’t beat yourself up just because you like to enjoy an occasional breakfast of scrambled eggs. Go ahead and enjoy.

Just be sure not to miss your rock-climbing class.

Share your story

Do you have a comment or question about how to take greater responsibility for your health? We would love to hear from you.