No one likes funerals. It’s a sad affair. However, for those who have (fortunately) not been to one (or relatively very few) it can be uncomfortable not to know what you should be wearing, doing or saying.
If you’re in this dilemma, then please do note the following tips. Remember that your presence and manners can affect grieving family members so it pays to follow the proper decorum.
Flowers, to send or not to send? It’s still very customary to send flowers for a funeral. However, nowadays, many families opt that you just send a donation to charity in lieu of spending on flowers. For one, most funeral homes will probably already have such appropriate flower arrangements so any other extras may hardly be noticed, and quite frankly, may be a waste of money on your end.
So what do you do? If you REALLY want to send flowers, consider sending them to the family’s home instead of the funeral place.
What to wear. We’ve come a long way from wearing ‘only black’ to funerals. This does not mean to say though that you should be disrespectful by wearing extremely casual, bright, or provocative clothes that shout ‘look at me’!
You can wear white as it’s a sign of purity and cleanliness. Any other dark-toned clothes or suits are also appropriate.
The first thing to do after you arrive at a funeral is to give your condolences to grieving family members. After this, only then should you mingle with other mourners.
Approaching the casket. It is not mandatory to approach the coffin during a funeral but it is considered polite to do so and perhaps offer a short prayer, especially if you were close to the departed.
Bringing food. Instead of flowers, you can bring food. If you’re visiting the deceased family’s home, you can try bringing a dish that’s easy to heat up such as lasagna or a casserole dish. Cooking and feeding visitors offering their condolences are from the family’s mind and so you really help them by doing this.
Even at the funeral home you can do this. However, instead of meal dishes, consider bringing tea cookies or light sandwiches instead.